What's In Your Bag?

Yes, I'm a follower :)

But what can I say?

I can't help it!

Sooo, let's see where do I start?

Top Left: My handbag when it's shut (a rare sight)

Top Right: When opened up

Bottom Left: My side of the bag

Bottom Right: The kids' side of the bag

Ok...

On my side we have:

My purse,

Cigarettes and lighter,

My sunnies,

Khiarna's handbag when she's had enough of carrying it, or after we've been out so she has it next time we go out,

Calculator,

Phone,

Make-Up Bag,

Andrew's Puffa,

Keys,

Lip Gloss x4,

Girly Products,

Spare Lighter,

A Pen,

Deoderant,

Small Hair-Brush.

In the front 2 pockets:

Another Lip Gloss,

Another Pen,

Diary.

Middle Pocket:

Izaiah's Blue Baby Book.

The Kids' Side:

Wipes,

Nappies for Izaiah,

Nappies for Khiarna,

Panadol (for me and the kids),

2x Change of clothes for BOTH kids,

Spare Dummies for BOTH kids,

Enough formula for one bottle,

Nappy Rash Cream,

Tissues,

Spare Dummy Chain for Khiarna,

Teething Rusks,

Teether,

Moisturiser,

Hat for Khiarna.

Back Pocket:

3 More Lighters (no wonder I can never find them, no idea why there's so many in there though)!

This is not to mention the addition of my camera, snacks, loose change, whatever Khiarna decides to throw in my handbag through-out the day,the dirt and crap in the bottom of my bag, oh and Khiarna's drink bottle, and if we're out for awhile, Izaiah's bottle, maybe Khiarna's jacket and some toys and dolls accessories, the list goes on and on!!

No wonder my shoulder hurts whenever we go out!!

2 Kids + Moi, and 1 bag = painful!

Poor Andrew can never find anything in there.

When he asks me where something is and I say "In my handbag" he just brings me the handbag, he reckons it will be quicker for me to find it than him, he gets lost in there, Hahaha.

I reckon I could probably almost fit Izaiah in there!!

Operation; Think Happy - Wk 2

Yesssss!!

It's that time of week again, well I'm a bit late, but I'm here now;

And that's all that counts!

1.

Our newest Babysitter -

Dora the Explorer;

I love having the ability to record episodes of Dora on our Foxtel IQ, and have it playing whenever I need it. I can do housework, I can duck outside for a quick smoke, I can go to the toilet - get this - ALONE! Khiarna is obsessed with Dora, and now the Buddha - man is following suit. Watching them both lay on the floor together, eyes wide open, smiles on their faces, watching the adventures Dora and Boots embark on. Khiarna jumps up and follows their actions, points out the characters to me, screams "Oh no, Swiper Mummy" and repeats EVERY word they say, including what they say in Spanish.

Heart-melting stuff right there!

2.

A long, hot shower - ALONE!

The other day, I got to shower alone, for the first time in ages. Normally, I've got one of the kids with me, usually Izaiah.

But not this time.

Both kids were asleep, and I thought I'd take this time to reward myself, with a long, relaxing, hot shower. Hey, I even got to wash my hair, and shave my legs.

Now that is a slice of sweet, sweet heaven!

3.

Lacy Lingerie;

I have 2 items of lingerie in my drawer, that have been there for years - never worn.

Tonight, Andrew is out with his mates, I actually thought he'd be home earlier, and I wanted to surprise him. I went to the drawer and pulled out the waste of material sitting in it. I looked it over for awhile, and thought "Hey, what the hell" I put it on, and to my surprise, it fits, quite nicely. And to top it off, I even feel comfortable in it!! I couldn't believe it, it looks good, is comfortable, and I'm loving it!

It even prompted me to jump on the scales. To find I'd lost 2kgs - yew go me!

Needless to say, I put it on at around 9:30pm, it is now 12:48am, still no Andrew, but I'm still wearing it, what can I say, I actually feel comfortable, I feel like I actually look good. Now I haven't felt like this since before I fell pregnant with Izaiah!

It could very well be the start of a new addiction!

4.

BBQ Chicken and Bacon pizza -

What can I say? Except "Delicious"!

I hadn't had it in close to 18 months, and last night decided I'd give it a go again. One of the best choices I have ever made!

I have enjoyed this beautiful piece of tasty heaven, 2 nights in a row now. Although, I'm almost certain Khiarna enjoyed it alot more than I did tonight, considering she polished off 5 pieces of it tonight!

Shock horror!

5.

Khiarna's WONDERFUL change in behaviour;

For the last few months before turning the big 2, the tantrums this girl could throw, were unbelievable, and constant!! This lasted up until about 2 weeks ago. She still throws them for her Daddy dearest, but hardly ever Mummy anymore. I was even able to take both her and Izaiah to Macca's and then Coles, without a pram or stroller, and without having to raise my voice once - COMPLETELY tantrum free!!

She has gone back to being my little Angel once again.

And...The only things she asked for while we were shopping was cheese, and - wait for it - heaps of things in the HEALTH FOOD section. Dried fruit and fruit snacks like apricot logs, etc. She had her own money too - $7, and she bought herself a little teddy bear and a chocolate egg. I couldn't believe the teddy bear, she saw it on the bottom shelf grabbed it and refused to swap it for a pretty lion or elephant one, it had to be this plain tan teddy bear. It was $6 so she bought it with her own money, and thought she was so grown up!

6.

Sleeping In Until 9-9:30am;

It seems Izaiah has finally realised that Mummy thoroughly enjoys a good sleep-in!

We're still having trouble most nights getting him to bed before 1am, but for the last 3/4 nights, he's been in bed before 10/10:30 and not waking until 9-9:30am!!!

Ohh and when he wakes now, he lays in his basinet while I get Khiarna dressed and get dressed myself, without crying once. He lays there talking to himself, or just staring at his mobile. And then spends the next hour after waking, giggling and smiling at me, refusing to touch his bottle, once he has got that hour of giggling, smiling and talking to his Mummy dearest out of the way, he has his bottle, and then starts the catnapping process for the day!

7.

Baby #3 - An Agreed Deal;

The other night, whilst Andrew was semi-drunk, we were laying in bed discussing - BABIES!

Andrew has been dead-set on 'no more babies' he says he is quite happy with the 2 he has already, and with the complications we have had with the pregnancies and births of both our beautiful kiddies, he's too scared of what may happen the next time. Plus, he says he can't handle the stress of all the complications.

BUT...The other night, that all changed. I never wanted a big family, one was always going to be enough for me, until I fell pregnant with Khiarna. Then I decided I wanted a big family, 4 or 5! Andrew had always wanted that, until we had Izaiah. As far as he was concerned, he had his girl and his boy, he didn't want, nor need, another. But he has agreed, he even shook on it, that in 3yrs time, we can start trying for another bubba!

Yessssssss!!

These are just 7 of the many things that have made me happy this week, there are more, but 7 is enough.

Stay tuned for next weeks instalment!!

The Past...The Present; What Difference?

I was sitting here, tossing around a thought that comes to my mind quite alot.

At the moment, we are currently house-hunting.

I hate house-hunting.

I hate the looks the real-estate agents give me.

I hate the judgement firing out of their eyes like a laser beam, right in my direction.

I look younger than I actually am.

And for that, they judge me.

I walk into a house, to check it out, and make sure it's suitable for our little family.

All the while, being followed by an estate agent, with a very judgemental look on their face, judging my every step.

I am 21.

I am married.

I am a mother of 2 beautiful children.

A 2yr old daughter, and a 3mth old son.

For this, I am judged.

Just because I am young, married, with 2 kids,

doesn't give anyone the right to judge me,

or make me any worse of a mother,

or a human for that matter.

So why do people think they have the right to judge my life?

Now let's take a walk down history lane, if you will.

To a time, let's say 40-50yrs ago.

When our grandparents were our age.

When the world was a different place.

When most girls, were married with kids by the age of 21, if not younger.

I know almost all of my Nan's sisters were pregnant quite young, 14, 16, etc. And married too.

A time when it was actually expected that a girl get married as soon as she could, and produce as many babies as possible. Spend her days at home, raising children, cleaning the house, washing the clothes, and cooking the meals. Being the perfect house-keeper, mother and wife.

So why should things be any different these days?

I mean, yes, these days, it is not expected that a young girl's purpose in life, be 'just' a mother and wife. (as if it is a meaningless job, by saying 'just' - the work of a mother and wife, is more than any full time job on this planet!)

But it also not accepted either!

How is that fair?

I am not saying that it should be expected. Not at all. Every girl has the right to do what she wants with her life.

Whether that be a career, or it be a family.

Without having judgement cast in their direction by complete strangers, all the time.

Age doesn't define you.

Our grandparents knew this, their parents knew this.

When did society lose this knowledge? This respect for a person to choose their own path in life, to choose their own life?

So what if I chose to have my kids young? If I chose marry young?

Whose business is that, except my own?

I don't regret my decision, I am proud to be what I am...

A Mother and a Wife.

So what if I may only be 21,

Married with kids.

My kids are not neglected, they are not missing out on anything.

They have everything they need, and pretty much everything they want as well.

They are well-fed, they are clean-clothed, they are clean.

My house is clean, my family are happy.

What else matters?

And why do people think it is their place to lay judgement?

To judge me and my family.

Do they not remember those days?

The days of our grandparents, and their parents?

The acceptance that was sadly lost with our parents, and has passed the judgement onto our shoulders.

I am sick of people giving me that disgusted look when I take my kids out.

I am sick of 'old' people staring at me like I'm some little whore, because I am a young mum.

When 'back in their day' they were in the same position as me, only minus the judgement.

I am sick of hearing that I had my kids to claim the government pay-outs.

My kids were not conceived as a pay-check.

And they mean more to me than any amount of money in the world.

And this coming from people, who found it acceptable to have a marriage and family young, who had a marriage and family young.

So why is it so wrong for me to have the same thing?

Am I not good enough to be a mother and wife?

Because of my age?

And because of what society thinks?

Screw society!!

I am happy with my life.

I love my life.

We planned for this!

Believe it or not, Khiarna was NOT an accident, we tried endlessly to have her, and NOT for the baby bonus, we would have had her even if there was no baby-bonus.

I mean sure, the baby-bonus helped us out, but it wasn't the reason for having either of my kids.

They would still be here today even without it.

How dare anyone say that my kids are only here for financial reasons.

I don't know of there being a baby-bonus when our grandparents' and their parents' generations were getting married and having kids young, so therefore their kids weren't for financial gain. So what makes them think mine are? Why can't someone young just want to get married and have kids? Without having an agenda, a financial one at that.

And do they really think that the baby-bonus is enough to make me want to have a baby for money?

I mean they have kids, so surely they know just how expensive and stressful kids can be. And how short money goes. That the baby-bonus isn't enough to provide everything for your child, as well as be enough for you to run wild with.

Not all of us choose to spend our money on partying and childish things. Some of us actually care about what our kids need, and actually provide for them.

Not all of us young mumma's have kids for money.

And seriously, how far is $384 baby-bonus a fortnight going to go, with a baby to provide for? How much of that do they actually think is left over for me to use on myself?

What, with nappies, wipes, formula, bills, shopping, petrol, everything and anything else the kids need, daycare fees, the list is never-ending. Do they even know how expensive that is?

It may have been cheaper in their days, work may have been easier to find and more secure.

Cloth nappies were the only option, formula wasn't even around, or only just being introduced, rent was cheaper, bills weren't like they are now - phone, electricity, water, foxtel(optional, yes, but to keep my 2yr old - Dora - obsessed - daughter happy, essential), internet (maybe not available back then, and they may see it as a luxury, but let's face it, these days it's pretty much a necessity), again, the list goes on. The cost of living back then, is nothing compared to what it is now. And it's not like wages are going up with the cost of living!

How can they honestly think that bringing a baby into this world could be for any amount of money!?

I think it's time that these people took their judging specs off, and faced up to reality.

What was good enough for them, is good enough for us.

And maybe while they're at it, realise that some of us, actually make this choice to be young mummas and/or wives.

I will still be young enough when my kids are older, that I can still do all the things I want, and it gives me time to save the money to do it.

I can still go and make a career for myself, or study, or do whatever it is I want.

The time's are changing!

Now-a-days, you can still be a mum AND have a career! There are no limits on what I can do!

So how dare anyone judge me for the decisions I made! The choices I made! This is the life I chose, because this is what I wanted!

And no-one is going to make me feel guilty for that!

I have everything I need in life, and if no one is willing to look past the judgement, then screw them! I am what I am...a Mother and Wife. And I am proud of that.

If they're not willing to look past their pathetic judgement to see the great mother and wife I am, regardless of age and my decisions, and if they can't see me for what I am, and accept that.

Look past all the judgement as discrimination, then I'll just have to rise above them all and show them exactly how good I am at what I am. It's not what I do, it's who I am.

I am better than all that judgement, and I'll show them all.

I can make a great life for my family and I, and prove them all wrong.

They are wrong!

And what a wake up they're gonna get, when I am the one who has the family young, gets married young, gets a career, and has a great life.

A life they are just jealous of, because they were too scared to over-come judgement and do it themselves.

You can't live your life by anyone else's expectations, and other people's restrictions can't hold you back!

You have to be the best you can be, if not for yourself, then for your children.

So they can grow up knowing their mothers are strong women, and be proud of us.

And grow up to have the same strength, to be and do whatever they want, and let nothing hold them back!

That is the real reward!