5 Daily Keys To Happiness...

I have decided that with all the negative and depressing things happening in my life right now,

that it's time to concentrate on the little things that either bring a smile to my face, or just happiness to my life, each and every day.

Not going to over-commit myself,

Just 5 little things that have made me happy, each day :)

Out with the negative and in with the positive!

We can all do with a little happiness!!

Here's todays five...

(They may be a little small, it is only 10am after all, but it's the small things in life that make the biggest difference)

• An Hour Sleep-In While The Kids Played In My Daughters Bedroom :)
• Listening To My Daughter Sing - “Humpty Humtpy, Sat On A Wall, Humpty Humpty Has A Fall, Humpty Humpty Can’t Get Back Together Again” Whilst Eating Her Breakfast :)
• Watching Both My Kids Eyes Light Up While I Open Today On Their Advent Calendars :)
• Sitting In The Sunshine, On the Waters Edge, Watching The Fish, For My Five Minutes Of Alone Time :)
• The Excitement I Feel About Going To Do More Christmas Shopping For The Kids Today :D

I Hope My Happiness Becomes Contagious,

And I Wish You All,

Some Of the Happiness I Have Already Been Blessed With Today!

Happy Days :)

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'Tis The Season...

Well, it's that time of year, yet again!

This year, I'm not quite sure who is more excited about Christmas.

My daughter, or myself.

This year, she will be 3 (on boxing Day) and is actually aware of what is going on.

The build up to Christmas this year, has been so exciting...

Not just for her, but for myself also.

When it came time to set up our tree,

Khiarna did pretty much all the decorating, herself.

We went shopping and she picked out all the decorations she wanted.

This year, we have a red and silver theme going.

All picked by Khiarna.

When she got home, there was no time to waste,

we had to set the tree up and decorate it immediately.

We have bought the Freddo Frog Advent Calendars, and aChristmas Chalk Board, that counts down the days until Christmas.

Every morning, after breakfast, both kids get their daily Freddo Frog from their Advent Calendar and then when they finish eating that, we change the number of days left til Christmas on the chalk board. While I try to teach Khiarna how to work out how many days there are left.

Whenever Izaiah tries to sneak an extra Freddo from the Advent Calendar, you can hear Khiarna telling him "No Ziah, only one every day then Christmas!"

What has surprised me,

the kids barely touch the Christmas tree! Or the presents underneath for that matter.

I thought for sure, I'd be spending most of my day, chasing the kids away from the tree,

or re-decorating it after they had destroyed it.

So far, so good!

The only problem I seem to have, is Khiarna thinks she knows best, when it comes to how and where the presents should be put under the tree. Her favourite past-time is to re-arrange the presents, and then to yell and scream at me when I move them back again :|

Khiarna is also ecstatic about Santa, and the fact that he is going to bring her presents.

We have seen him a few times. And whenever she is talking to anyone, she loves telling them about the times she has seen him.

We were waiting at the train station one day, when a bus drove past, filled with Christmas decorations. To top it off, the driver was fat, with a long grey beard, and was wearing a Santa hat! Khiarna got so excited, she started jumping up and down screaming "Santa's driving the bus!"

We went to the shopping centre that same day, and sure enough Santa was there.

He was between photos at the time, so was walking around out the front of the Santa photo area, and talking to people as they were walking past...

Khiarna wanted to go and say hello, so we did.

He asked her "Have you been good?" Khiarna - "yes" Santa - "Have you been good at home for your Mum & Dad?" Khiarna - "Yeah!" Santa -"Oh, I think you're telling me fibs, are you telling me fibs?" Khiarna - "..... Yes."

Haha, it was so cute!

Then just the other week we took both the kids for their Santa photo. Didn't go quite as well as I had planned. I had hoped this year, we may not have to sit with Santa too.

Wishful thinking!

When we got there, Izaiah was fine, racing up to Santa like he knew exactly where he was meant to go, he loved the idea of what was happening.

That was, until Santa spoke to him.

As soon as Santa spoke to him, he screamed and carried on, and clung to my leg, refusing to even look at santa. Of course, I had to pick him up and try to comfort him.

Santa tried comforting him too, by giving Izaiah his bell. The naughty little boy, Izaiah pegged the bell at Santa as hard as he could, hitting him right on the knee cap :|

Khiarna was loving Santa though, talking with him and giving him hi-fives, telling him what she wanted for Christmas, and telling him how she had seen him everywhere!

Once we asked her to go and sit with Santa, that's when the real fun started.

She went all shy and kept saying she didn't want to.

Andrew had to sit with Khiarna, next to Santa, and I had to sit next to Santa on the other side, with Izaiah. The even harder part was getting both kids to look at the camera at the same time.

Izaiah would be staring at Santa, giving him the 'who the hell are you' look, and Khiarna would be looking and pointing at Izaiah, telling him to look at the camera!

in the end, we managed to get a gorgeous photo of Khiarna, and poor Izaiah looks shocked as anything!

The thing that has shocked me, the most I guess.

Is Khiarna's memory.

I can't seem to help but buy more and more Christmas presents, every day.

Most of the time, Khiarna is with me, and seeing as I put them on layby, most of them a month ago. I thought for sure she would forget about what we had actually bought, by the time Christmas came around.

Yet, here we are, 12 days from Christmas, and she can still run off every single thing that is on layby from Santa!!

So much for a surprise!

Luckily, she hasn't quite put 2 and 2 together and worked out, that if she saw me buying them, then they can't be from Santa.

I told her the lady at the shop is Santa's helper, and she's taking them to show Santa, so he knows what she wants ;)

Phewww, she believed me haha.

12 days til Christmas!

When did this sneak up on us?

Even though, I'm still freaking out that this Christmas won't be one of our better ones, or that the kids won't have nearly as much as I would like them to (although fingers crossed I manage to pull a trick out of my hat before then)

I am still more excited about this Christmas, than I have been about any Christmas, since I was a kid!!

I literally feel like I'm a kid again.

I know for sure, I won't be able to sleep Christmas Eve, and that I won't be able to stop myself from waking the kids up at the crack of dawn to open their presents ;)

I'm just too damn excited.

It makes it so much more exciting once the kids know what's going on, and are excited for it

too.

I just can't wait to see the look on Khiarna's face, come Christmas morning, when she comes downstairs and sees that santa has been.

Or the look on both of their faces when they open all their new toys!!

I'm getting so damn excited just talking and thinking about it!!

Hurry up Christmas :)

Hope everyone is just as excited as I am this year.

And hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas with their families.

After all that's really what Christmas is all about in my eyes,

Family :)

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Clearly... I'm Insane!

Wow, two blogs in one day...

This Mumma's on a roll!!

So, lately, I have had such a HUGE urge....

To have another baby.

I know, I know,

After my last blog, this is obviously so NOT the time.

We are obviously in no position to bring another gorgeous little person into the world.

But a Mumma can always dream, right?!

It just seems, all around me, people are having babies, or falling pregnant :(

And whilst I'm extremely happy for them all,

I can't ignore the jealous pang I feel, every time someone announces their pregnancy, or birth of their gorgeous little new born.

I really shouldn't be so clucky, considering my not-so-little Buddha is only a bit over 13mths old.

But yet, that cluckiness, is nagging away at me.

I'm yearning to have yet another.

No matter how hard I try to ignore the clucking,

it can't be drowned out!

I do new-born so well.

I can handle the no sleep, as I never sleep before midnight anyways, and I'm always up at the crack of dawn with Ziah as it is. And half the time, I'm still waking through the night with Izaiah.

I'm all in routine for another baby! Haha

But, there are so many reasons why I shouldn't venture into that territory, just yet anyways.

We are living at my inlaws at the moment, while we try to find a house.

Izaiah is sharing our bedroom.

We are not financially ready for another bub right now.

Izaiah still clings to me, almost, every minute of the day. And screams whenever anyone else touches me, or goes near me. And screams the house down whenever I leave his sight.

Oh and not to mention the little fact of, Andrew has said no, for now anyway.

Yet, even though I know all of these reasons, and they are legit reasons as to why I shouldn't even consider another baby yet,

I can't drown out the constant clucking!!

It's strange actually,

I had always said, I would only ever have one kid.

I never wanted a big family.

All I ever wanted was one little girl.

That was, until I fell pregnant with Khiarna.

Once I was pregnant, I wanted a boy.

And I no longer only wanted one, I wanted 4 kids.

Big jump I know!

And then, after having Izaiah,

I wanted even more, so badly.

He brought out the true Mumma in me, I guess.

He made me even cluckier, from the day he was born.

I didn't think it was possible to get even more clucky once having a baby.

Or, for your own baby to make you so damn clucky for more!!

Izaiah was 28 days old, and I asked Andrew if we could start trying for another a.s.a.p!

He's reaction, of course, was "You're crazy!"

Haha.

I thought, as Izaiah got older, my cluckiness would go away, slowly.

And even though, both kids are being such little brats lately, I still want another, sooooo badly!

Don't worry, you don't have to tell me,

I already know it.

Clearly...

I'm insane!

Return To The Blog Scene.... Goodbye 2010.. Let's hope for a better year!

It has been quite some time, since I showed my face around these parts; and I thought, seeing as this year is almost done and dusted, I should make an appearance. Even if it is the last one for this year, I'll be happy with that, leaving this year behind for a new one, couldn't come quicker!

This year, has been one of the very hardest for myself, and my little family.

Yet, somehow (not quite sure how exactly) I have managed to sport a brave face, and push on through, just like a good Mumma does.

I'm not sure, where or when, everything went wrong. All I do know, is that I hope my life gets it's shit together for the New Year!

Not only, have I had to somehow adjust to two little rugrats under my feet all the time. I've had to do this, with all our family living hours away now. My inlaws moved almost 3hrs away at the start of the year. I thought, at first, it would be great for us as a family. To be in our own space again, and be a family of just the four of us. Doing our own thing, and spending quality time together.

Oh how I was wrong.

Once my inlaws moved out, the ermm 'Lovely' landlord decided he wasn't content enough with how much money he was pocketing from us each week. So, as all 'lovely' landlords do, he jacked our rent up, to $400 a week!!

Needless to say, this was far more than we could actually afford. So in turn, to ensure our rent was being paid, and we had food on the table. Hardly any of our other bills were seeing any of our money. We ended up losing our beloved Foxtel, our much needed house phone line, and my one outlet to the real world, our internet!

As well as all of this, my friend who would normally take Khiarna to daycare for me, as I don't drive, started working the days Khiarna had daycare. So, no more daycare for her. Which meant she was stuck at home, all day, every day, with Ziah and I. Of course, this was not to her liking, and I, apparently, was to blame for this. Copping her attitude, tantrums and just plain nastiness, all day, every day.

Andrew and I were fighting, day in - day out. We just had to look at each other the wrong way, for everything to blow up!

Not to mention, we never had any time together anymore either.We had no one to watch the kids for us, so we couldn't even spend an hour together, without the kids. No going out, without them, no sitting down watching a movie, nothing. This, of course, took a huge toll on my marriage. Andrew was out all afternoon and night, with his mate, drinking & having a good time. While I would sit at home, alone, with the 2 kids. And it wasn't long, before we grew apart. We were never seeing each other, and when we did, we would argue constantly.

So, after a few months of this routine, enough was enough. It wasn't a healthy relationship, for us or the kids! And the only way to fix it, was to end it. And that's what we did :(

We separated. I went and stayed with my Mum, in Canberra, with both the kids. It wasn't long before we realised, it wasn't what either of us wanted, and we needed to fix things. I returned, with the kids, and started to try and work on everything that was going wrong.

When I returned, I found half the house packed, Andrew had given our 3wks notice to vacate the property. Even though, we had nowhere else lined up yet.

We spent 3wks packing, and trying our hardest not to argue over everything. And when our time was up, we still hadn't found another house to go to. I ended up having to send both the kids to stay at my Mums for a few weeks, while Andrew & I stayed in a friends on-site caravan, and tried desperately to find another place for us all.

With no luck. every house we applied for, we were knocked back. It seems no one wants to give us a chance :(

But that time, without the kids, was just what our marriage needed. There was barely any arguments, and we actually got to spend time together, without the kids. We were able to go out for dinner, go out for a few drinks, just hang out and spend quality time together, for the first time in years! It was great for us.

After 3wks of the kids being at my Mums place, and we hadn't even seen them, I couldn't handle it anymore. Ziah was going to be 1 in a week, and there was no way I was going to miss that! So Andrew & I made the trip to Canberra to pick them up again. The plan was, the kids and bring them back to the caravan with us. the kids and I would stay there with Andrew for a week, so he could spend some time with them. And then, we would head up to my inlaws place, while Andrew stayed at the caravan and continued to try and find us a house.

This didn't happen though. The kids and I ended up staying for almost 6wks. And, of course, things were not the best. All four of us, cramped into such a tiny space, no room to move, no room to breathe. Izaiah refusing to sleep every night, and keeping Khiarna awake. Toys taking up the entire floor space every day. Not exactly what you'd call ideal. But still, we were all together.

Now, though, the kids and I have moved on, to my inlaws place. We've just about given up all hope of finding a place of our own. The real estates are trying to tell us that we can't afford the houses we're applying for. Which isn't true, at all. They just don't like the idea of such a young couple, with 2 young kids, living in their house, or so it appears.

And to be honest, the prices we're applying for, you can't get anything cheaper than that, we're applying for the cheapest, what are we meant to do?

Andrew is still down the coast, almost 3hrs away, through the week, and we get to see him on weekends. Again, not ideal. When we do get to see him, he's tired, and just wants to stay at home and relax, where as, the kids and I have spent all week, at home doing nothing. We want to go out and do things together.

It seems nothing is going our way this year!

Now, we have 2wks til Christmas, and I'm still panicking, as I don't have all that much for the kids yet :(

And Boxing Day, Khiarna will turn 3. Again, we won't be having a party this year. We're too far away from any of our, or her, friends and we just simply won't have the money.

I just keep thinking back to 12mths ago...

When our lives were on track, and everything was perfect.

So much can change in 12 months!

And sadly, I don't see anything getting better any time soon.

All I can do, is hold my head high, and try not to let the kids see how depressed and low I am right now. After all, it is the season to be jolly, isn't it?!