Romance...A Dying Fad?

Who was the idiot that ever claimed that 'Romance Never Dies'?

I'm welcoming anyones answer on this, by the way.

Because it appears that the above statement is far from the truth! Maybe it's only me who feels this way, but I highly doubt it.

I can remember back to the 'Golden Days' when my relationship with my husband, then boyfriend, was filled with romance. Nice candle-lit baked dinners, serenades, walks along the beach, late night drives - just for the fun of it, cuddling up on the couch watching movies, sleeping cuddled tightly in each others arms, always hand in hand, arm in arm, affection beyond belief, filled with 'I Love You' at every chance. Actually spending quality time together.

Where have those days gone?

Maybe it's just my female hormones that are craving all these things, the things which were once a normality in our relationship, but is it wrong of me to be craving them? And should they all be lost, already?

I don't think so...

I feel like we are an old married couple already! And we have only been married for 2yrs!! Should the romance be gone already?

I know that having 2 kids, makes our lives much more demanding, and gives us less time to spend together, but surely, that doesn't excuse it. Surely, there must be at least one hour in the day we can spend together, kid-free. And surely we can spare a kiss and cuddle at least more than once a day. Candle-lit dinners can be made once the kiddies are sleeping, just once every so often.

It's the little things that make the big differences.

It's those little things that I miss the most.

Since when did marriage and kids make for an unromantic relationship?

In the beginning of our relationship, Andrew and I couldn't keep our hands off each other. We were inseparable. We spent every minute we possibly could together, and we got very serious, very quickly.

We met through a drunken prank phone call. I was drinking tequila straight, with a friend, when we decided to prank call this guy she knew. That prank call ended with me agreeing to meet up with him, in a dark park, in the middle of the night. Stupid much?!

We sat in his van, talking for 8hrs, without even doing anything! Unbelievable if you know my track-record with guys! Haha!!

There was a strong connection there. I'd never had a guy sit and talk to me for so long, without making a move. I started to think there was something wrong with me, that he wasn't the least bit interested in me! But my worries were soon put to rest, when after 8 long hours of talking and joking, he finally made a move.

We sat there and watched the sun-rise over the lake, a romantic sight in itself. A few hours later, he took me home.

That night while I was at work, Andrew rang my phone endlessly, nagging me to let him pick me up from work. So after work, I finally gave in and answered my phone, and let him come over.

That night, I asked what this all was to him, and he told me it wasn't a once-off, he was after a relationship. And we never looked back.

Those first few months were filled with romantic dinners, movie nights spent cuddled up on the couch, spending quality time together.

Right from the start, we knew we wanted to have kids, and we wanted to have them young. We wanted to be young parents. And we wanted to get married.

We'd only been together for like a week when Andrew told me he loved me, and together for 2 when he started talking about getting married. After 5 weeks, we moved in together. And immediately, we started trying to have a baby.

We were so intense so quickly, but it was nothing I'd ever change.

Straight away, we both had feelings, strong feelings, that we knew it was meant to be. We knew we had something that we would never find with anyone else, and wouldn't want to. What we had, what we have, is stronger than anything we've ever felt before, or with anyone else. Right from the very start, we knew we were going to spend our lives together. That we were going to get married, and have kids together.

After 4 and a half months, Andrew proposed.

After being together for 7 months, we found out that we were finally expecting a little baby. After months of trying, our efforts were being rewarded.

And the stress started!

I think that was maybe when the romance started to fade...

Everything was so real suddenly!

We had to plan a wedding, as Andrew and his Mum were all for us getting married before bub arrived. Really, I wasn't fussed either way, haha!!

In 3 months, we were married!

Things started deteriorating shortly after that, we didn't get much time together, as Andrew was working long hours, my pregnancy was full of mood-swings, in and out of hospital, and constantly feeling and being sick. The stress our relationship was under, was tremendous.

We only started to get back on track 2 months before Khiarna was born, when Andrew left work, to stay home with me and help me out once Khiarna arrived. Finally, the close bond we once had, was forming again.

That was until Khiarna was born. At first, we got hardly anytime together, at all. With all the complications we had with Khiarna's birth, I was unable to do very much, and Andrew had to do everything basically. With the stress he was under, along with me suffering from PND, it was our relationship that suffered. And I can tell you, it wasn't all smooth sailing, for a long time.

We argued all the time, and were breaking up all the time. Never for more than a few hours though!Haha!

Finally, when Khiarna was about 11months old, we got back to that 'romantic' stage. We were spending alot of quality time together, and because we were living with Andrew's parents, we found we had a life together again. Once Khiarna was in bed, asleep, we could go out and do things together, and Andrew's parents would keep an ear out for Khiarna and tend to her if she needed anything for the few hours we were gone. But she never woke anyway, haha.

When Khiarna was 13mths old, I fell pregnant again.

Nothing changed, the arguing didn't start back up again.

Now when we argue, it's nothing compared to the HUGE arguments we used to have. We say what we have to say, we don't talk for a few hours, at the most, and then we're over it.

But the affection and the quality time together, that's what is lacking now.

With Khiarna hitting the terrible 2's, Izaiah demanding attention close to every hour of the day, Andrew working long hours, and having no baby-sitters anymore (my Mum and Nan have both moved interstate now, and Andrew's Mum works and can't babysit, plus can't handle having both kids at once), we get very little time together.

I can't even go to bed at the same time as Andrew anymore. I don't normally get to bed until 2ish in the morning, and then Andrew is leaving for work at around 5am, and home around dinner time. We have dinner, he showers Khiarna, I tend to Izaiah who starts getting very sooky about an hour after Andrew gets home, and doesn't stop until he finally crashes around 12-2am.

We are both so exhausted!

And trying to make time for each other, is becoming harder and harder. Just when we think we've got a few minutes together, while Khiarna is asleep and Izaiah is settled, then Izaiah realises Mummy is no longer sitting right next to him, or holding him anymore, and then the screaming begins, AGAIN!

Our relationship isn't suffering from it really. But there are many things that I miss about our relationship, from a time when things were much more easier, when it was just the two of us. That said though, we would never change our life, not for anything. Though we would LOVE some more one-on-one time together. To be able to go out for dinner once in awhile, sit down together, even if it's only for half an hour, without a baby screaming, or a toddler reeking havoc.

To have one day where neither of us are exhausted, where the kids are babysat for a few hours, and just do things that we used to.

To not be exhausted like we are, to the point that the only time we get together, is when I crawl into bed at 2am, and Andrew rolls over and puts his arm around me. Lately, that's the extent of our affection!

Hurry up, and stop demanding Mummy's 24hr attention and affections Izaiah!!! Haha

As much as I love our 2 beautiful children, sometimes I wish we had've had more time to do things together, and spend time alone, travel together, just have more one-on-one time.

But as I've said before, we wouldn't change the life we have together.

We'll just wait until the kids are a little older and we can get a bit more alone time together, and then hopefully, these cravings for affection will be met!!

Until then, I uphold the right to crave affection and get grumpy over the fact that my expectations aren't being met!!Haha!

Am I alone in this?

Or is this just something that comes with having 2 kids, both so young, and close in age?

Will this neediness of Izaiah's pass, and give me any time alone with my husband?

I sound like a huge whinger right now, but, I'm sure (well I'm hoping anyway) that most Mummas go through these feelings too. I think it's just a lack of adult time. Lack of adult conversation, topped with exhaustion.

Ahhh...So here's my whinge.

Now I am off for a quick sleep, before one of the kids, or the hubby wakes. Here's to hoping anyway!! ;)